Orange County Buddhist Church
Orange County Buddhist Church
Recently I conducted a funeral service for a former member of our Orange County Buddhist Church, Nic Kring, who moved back to the Midwest a few years ago.
Some years ago Nic first started attending OCBC. I don't remember how he happened to find us and what brought him to Buddhism, but I know that what he found here was for him, his true family and home.
Nic had a rough life and rough past. He was married several times and each marriage ended in divorce. He had several children, but was estranged from all of them. He admitted being largely responsible for his family situation, in that in his younger years he was an angry, self-centered individual.
The Nic Kring we knew here at OCBC was, however, the direct opposite. He was as gentle as a lamb, and had a wonderful sense of humor. He used to live in Buena Park, and due to his limited income, he did not have a car, but would come to OCBC by bicycle. He loved to hang out in the office and visit with the various retired people who spend their free time helping around the church and doing maintenance things.
In the time he spent here, Nic became a real student of the Dharma. He attended services without fail, and also all the study classes that were offered then. This was before we began our BEC program, but I know that he would've taken all the BEC classes that he could have.
Nic read books on Buddhism, although his background was not academic or intellectual. He even read through the entire Collected Works of Shinran.
Despite the fact that he had a troubled past and came from a dsyfunctional family, Nic found here at OCBC, a real sense of belonging. He felt that the only real "family" he had in life was here. The Sangha here was the true family, the true home that he had never known before.
Nic moved back to the Midwest some years ago, to help take care of his elderly mother. He hated to leave OCBC. He knew that someday he wanted to return and he made for those arrangements.
Before Nic moved back, he purchased an urn and had it engraved, and left it with me with the instructions that someday if he were to pass away, he would have pre-arranged that his ashes would be sent back to OCBC and placed in our Nokotsudo.
I promised Nic that if that were to occur, that it would be taken care of and that I would conduct a funeral service for him here with his OCBC friends.
Not too long ago I received a phone call from a funeral director in Ohio who informed me that Nic had passed away and that he was going to be sending his ashes to OCBC. When the ashes arrived, I placed them in the urn that Nic had left here, and put the engraved faceplate on the urn.
We held a service here for him, with the OCBC friends that knew him. In my message I told the people there, that of all the people in this world, you meant the most to him. You were the only real family that he felt he was a part of. This was the only true home that he had ever known.
Nic would occasionally write short poems and share them with me. In his memory, and as a tribute to him, I would like to share a few of his poems.
The Vow
When
I first heard the vow,
I wasn't sure.
The second time,
made me think.
The third time,
it was mine.
Namuamidabutsu
Gautama says "Go."
Amida says, "Come."
The Tree of Impermanence
There is a large tree
across the street from my window.
It speaks to me of impermanence.
In the summer it is green,
and gives
shelter to the birds
and other
things.
In the fall it is read and orange,
saying,
"Here I am,
in all my glory!"
In the winter, it's branches move
and dance in
the wind,
joined by
occasional birds in waltz.
Then in the spring,
it shakes off
its winter coat,
to face
another year of change.
The following poem by Nic is the one that is engraved on the faceplate of his urn. It reads as follows:
Cherry blossoms fade and die,
A dew drop evaporates into nothing.
One life is not enough,
to learn it
all.
Namuamidabutsu.
Isn't that a wonderful poem? We who are here at OCBC, we can easily take for granted the fact that we can listen to the Dharma anytime, on any Sunday, or at any BEC class. We may or may not take advantage of those opportunities, and even if we did, we may not always feel the magnitude of that opportunity. Nic Kring deeply, deeply appreciated what it meant to be a Buddhist, what it meant to be a part of a Sangha. When he moved away, it was like leaving his family and home of homes.
Welcome back Nic. You have returned to your true home. You have rejoined your family and friends. You are right. One life is not enough. Not for me or anyone else. Therefore I must make the most of this one life that I have, to listen to the Dharma.
Namuamidabutsu,
Rev. Marvin Harada
September 2007
