Orange County Buddhist Church
Orange County Buddhist Church
The Ultimate Meaning of Life
Recently, a ministerial colleague of mine sent me a most interesting article over the internet. It seems that in Japan, there is a new psychological syndrome that is increasing. The syndrome is called R.H.S. Take a guess what those letters might stand for. Amazingly, it stands for: Retired Husband Syndrome. Let me explain what this new syndrome is about.
In Japan, men give their whole life to their company and their work. They leave for work from the crack of dawn, ride a crowded train, put in their eight to ten hours at the office, then usually go out to eat or drink with either people from work or with customers or clients. They then take the last train home and get back in time to take a bath and hit the sack, --- then get back up in the morning to do it all over again. As you can imagine, wives and children see little of their working fathers, except for the short weekend, which until recently, was Sunday only.
What has occurred in recent times, is that after retiring, these Japanese businessmen have no life. Their whole life has been their work and the company. They have had no time to develop a hobby or interest. When they retire, all they do is stay home and drive their wives crazy. They make demands on having their breakfast, lunch and dinner being made for them. They boss around their wives at home, because they have no employees or staff to boss around. This has caused great stress and tension for women. Before, when their husbands worked, they were free to go out, see their friends and pursue their own interests. After their husbands retire though, they are stuck at home, and cannot go out as freely as when their husbands were working. Some women even develop physiological problems from their stress and tension. It has strained marriages and the lives of women in Japan.
When I read this article, I thought to myself, these Japanese men have got to find a new meaning of life. When they were working, their meaning of life was their work. Now in retirement, their meaning of life is gone. That is why they have nothing to do but drive their wives crazy.
This could happen to more than just men as well. Let’s say a woman who is a mother, finds the greatest meaning of her life is to raise her children. From the time they are infants, she has given her entire life dedicated to raising them. However, what happens to a mother once her children are all raised and grown up? When they finally go away to college, or get married and move away, then her meaning of life is also destroyed. I have actually known of such women who go into depression after their children go away to college or become independent.
Depending on what we do, we could find that our meaning of life has been snatched away from us. Let’s take the example of a professional athlete, like an NFL football player. What happens to an athlete if he suffers a career ending injury? If his meaning of life has been to play football, then his meaning of life is destroyed along with his injury. What if your meaning in life is to be a musician? What if you meet with a car accident and lose a limb? Your meaning in life is destroyed because you can no longer play music.
We must find a deeper meaning of life, one that cannot be destroyed by the end of our career, or by a loss of a limb, or by changing relationships in life. What kind of meaning of life could that be, one that is not dependent on such things?
The Buddhist answer is to meet with the power of the hongan, to discover our deepest innermost aspiration, the aspiration to become a Buddha, to find our true self. Although this might seem very remote, very removed from oneself, maybe even something that you feel you have never thought of, or ever will, it is actually something very close to our life. I think that every person alive, at one time or another, has touched on this wish to become a Buddha, to find their true self, but they never really knew it.
Haven’t you ever had the feeling that your life lacked meaning? Haven’t you ever felt depressed because there seemed to be an emptiness, a void in your life? If you have ever had such a thought, then you have actually had the thought to aspire for Buddhahood but never knew it.
Haven’t you felt depressed after finishing your career, thinking, is that all there was to my life? Put in my thirty years and retire? Is that it? Shouldn’t I make some kind of mark in the world or in life? What have I accomplished? The projects I worked on will be outdated in a matter of years. What was my life all about anyway?
If you have ever had such thoughts, that is the aspiration for Buddhahood trying to emerge in your life.
Aspiring for Buddhahood isn’t to try to become some kind of golden being, or to look like the historical Buddha. Aspiring for Buddhahood means to want to live the most meaningful, full, and gratifying life that one can live. Aspiring for Buddhahood means to want to live the most peaceful, harmonious, life that one can live. Aspiring for Buddhahood means to want to live the most dynamic, creative, positive life that one can live.
Shinran Shonin, in one of his Wasans, or poems, states something to the effect that a person who meets with the power of the innermost aspiration, will never live a life in vain. To me, this means that a person who has the aspiration for Buddhahood stirred within their hearts and minds, always has a deep meaning of life. As long as they are on the path to becoming a Buddha, as long as they are able to listen to the Dharma, as long as they are able to study and discuss the teachings with others, their life is fulfilled, their life is most gratifying. No matter what might happen to them in life, loss of relationships, loss of a job, loss of some physical capability, their life never lacks meaning because they are always on the path, they are always able to listen to the Dharma.
That is the ultimate meaning of life. The other meanings of life that we have are temporary and fleeting. They are fine while they last, but can easily be destroyed. The innermost aspiration, the power of the hongan, cannot be destroyed.
Do not let your meaning of life be destroyed because you have retired or lost your job. Do not let your meaning of life be destroyed because your spouse left you for someone else, or because you tragically lost your spouse. Do not let your meaning of life be destroyed because your children have become adults. Instead, find the ultimate meaning of life. Find the indestructible source of fulfillment in life. Find the depth and breadth of life that can be lived when one encounters the power of the hongan.
Namuamidabutsu,
Rev. Marvin Harada
