Orange County Buddhist Church
Orange County Buddhist Church
A Way Of Seeing (Jinen Hooni)
Yesterday, Oct. 6, 2005, my eyes opened at 4:03 in the morning. There was no particular reason for it that I was aware of; I usually open my eyes at 5:30, because the radio goes on then to wake up my wife so she can get ready to go to work. I have to stay awake for a few minutes, because she might want a few extra minutes of sleep and I would have to tap the snooze button for the extra nine minutes of sleep that gives her. I usually get up some time between 5:45 and 6:30, so I can finish my daily walk before she leaves for work. I get up at 5:45 if I can’t get back to sleep.
Yesterday, as I was lying there at 4:03, trying to fall back to sleep, this thought popped into my head: What if I didn’t wake up again, ever? That’s a strange thought to have at 4:03 in the morning, but if I tell you that I was thinking about a sermon for the coming Sunday, as well as about this meditation for the Korin, maybe you can better understand it. I don’t know about other ministers, but, because I have a hard time thinking about what to talk about in a Dharma-talk, and how to give it, it’s in incubation, as it were, for a week or more, even if the end product may not seem that way.
In any case, yesterday morning’s thought was, What if I didn’t wake up again, ever? The meaning of the question, of course, is what if I had died in my sleep? The simplest answer might be, If you had died in your sleep, you wouldn’t know it, so you should be happy. Of course, I wouldn’t know it, but, on the other hand, I couldn’t be happy for the simple reason that I would be beyond emotion. Or anything else, for that matter. People have said to me words to the effect that that is the way to go, i.e., peacefully in one’s sleep. I myself have said it and will probably say it again. So what is this meditation all about?
Another meaning of the question is, What difference has your life made in this world? Better and more realistic, What difference has your life made to the people around you? Is the fact that you have managed to extend the family name and genes for at least one generation such a big difference? Not really.
I am an ordained minister and, therefore, an “authorized” teacher of the Jodo Shinshu Hompa Hongwanji way of seeing the Buddha Dharma. Have I been successful in that endeavor? Only if you consider at least one, even if only one, who admits to being influenced by me to study and teach the Buddha Dharma. That is enough for me, needless to say, even though I know that it was not me but the Buddha Dharma itself that enabled him to change his way of seeing. That enabling to change is called in Jodo Shinshu, jinen hooni, being made so through the working of the Tathagata’s Vow. In any case, does this make my life such that I can leave this life with some semblance of having created meaning in my life? Well, to make it easy on myself, I will answer, yes. Of course, that still leaves the question of whether my own life has been changed, or made so, through the working of the Tathagata’s Vow.
More important to you, of course, since you, too, are a Nembutsu-follower, is whether you have been made so (made true and real) through the working of the Tathagata’s Vow. What if you didn’t wake up tomorrow morning?
Gassho,
Donkon Jaan
Rev. John Doami
